Read Amma’s experience HERE.
I didn’t even want to recount the failures of the last month, but they were so triumphant and true that I couldn’t let y’all miss out on the goodies.
. . .
Am: ‘We have to do it.’
Af: ‘Do what?’
Am: ‘September, take a man on a date month.’
Af: ‘Is that a thing? …Like movember when men don’t shave their faces?’
Am: ‘I dunno. But we have to do it. It’ll be a fun challenge, and we have a ton of events this month so there will be plenty of opportunities to meet people. And then we can blog about it. Write about what it feels like to be on the other side- the anxieties/ fears of doing the asking.’
Af: ‘Ok… Do it for the
blog fun challenge.’
. . .
Alrighty so context is set. And by the title you already know how things ended. So let’s get into the meat- the deets.
Welllllll, Amma didn’t do anything. And by anything, I mean not one ask and I don’t believe even one attempt at finding someone to ask, but please Amma chime in if I dey lie bad. Ahem.
For me, I dunno whether to laugh or cry. I did go on a …thing. I dunno what to call it, because it occurred in the strangest of circumstances. I was asked by a friend to take him on a date. However, the date ended with him inquiring who and who would be a good fit for me, and why I wasn’t dating them. #confused? Ya, so was I. But I don’t want to discuss the colossal fail that was that
date thing. What I’m here to discuss is the utter fail that was every other attempt to go on a date in September.
I met 4 new guys over the last month who I got along with upon first meet. See definition of got along with: good/interesting conversation with just the right amount of flirtation. You’d think four is a hefty number, and you would be right. It
can be is already difficult to find people interesting in these parts, so 4 in a month is a HEFTY number. But watch the bait and switch played on me: EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM WAS MARRIED! Whether they mentioned wifey or not in the conversation (3 did), whether wifey lived in Ghana or not (2 did not), whether they wore a ring or not (2 did not), whether they were overtly availing themselves to an affair or just having an overly friendly conversation which I just couldn’t pick up on (2 definitely definitely were the former), it didn’t matter because at the end of the day THEY WERE ALL MARRIED. And for the simple fact that being married is a non starter for me, we can confidently say that September was indeed a fail.
Aside from the fact that I’m more about trying to be the right person versus actively looking for the right person these days, this was still kind of a useful exercise. At the very least, it taught me I need to work on my married man-(ra)dar lol… And more importantly, it taught me that if you don’t go out, you won’t meet people. And that’s some biblical Rhema right there, huh? But seriously, in the last month I’ve gone out to more house parties, weddings, birthday parties and other get togethers than I have in a while, and I”ve realized ‘hey, guess what? I don’t know every newly landed or been-here-for-a-minute Ghanaian in Accra’.
If you’re just in your house expecting to meet new people, that’s not a winning strategy, my dears. I mean I do believe in miracles, but if the Spirit hasn’t led you to stay at home and knit scarfs, welt then it’s time to get off the couch and get out more. And I’m not talking about clubbing… I’m talking about events where you can actually speak with people in a chill (sober) manner. So I guess not all was lost for this experiment, y’all can take this small piece of advice from the failures of last month.