RR

Short PSA: We’re Changing Things!

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We’re switching things up a little… just a little. We’ve had a good time rambling about relationship topics, but there’s definitely more to our lives and the world at large than love and pursuit of martial bliss. And more generally, talking solely about love.dating.sex can get some way… there’s just so much more to our returnee experience that we think y’all are missing out on hearing about 🙂 So we’re opening up the discussion to other topics! These will include, but not be limited to:

-working in Ghana as returnee women
-gender and race issues
-religion
-general hot topics and popular culture

Don’t worry, we won’t slack on the juicy relationship stuff though!

~Love, RR

PS – If you want to guest post for us, please email us at: ramblingroommates@gmail.com

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Change is a Comin’: Our 1yr Anniversary!

Dear RR Family,

 

ITS OUR BLOGIVERSARY!!

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Last week we celebrated one full year of funny, open and honest posts on love and relationships.

This has been a really exciting journey. There were some strange moments… like when guys would ask whether they would be featured in a post (while on a date) and then there were the hilarious ones, like when y’all got super engrossed in a post and went HAM on the facebook comments. Even though I don’t get super excited about anniversaries and things of the like (in spite of my love for love), Afua was adamant about a celebration— and I am glad she insisted. Nothing like a whole 365 days passing to really make you reflect on the ups and downs. Especially those moments writing posts and wondering… wait, am I saying too much? I wonder who is going to be offended or scared off by this? I wonder who is going to insult us for this? Or dismiss us…

I wonder if my ex soul mate is reading this… and shaking his head.

<<shrugs>>

To commemorate this occasion, we are presenting the five most read posts of the year…

In the blogosphere… you vote with your mouse, and clicks tell everything… what are those lyrics again? “women lie, men lie, numbers don’t lie” (except in economics or statistics or general research when they are being manufactured to fit a specific narrative… or you know, Wall Street.— sorry nerd moment)

Buuuuuut before we get to that, we have a very special announcement!

The time has come where we shed our old skins and put on something… more… profesh!

We are working on a number of new things for the site and the first thing we have done is…

CHANGE THE URL!

For all of you who’ve been a bit confused about the Love.African! vs. Rambling Roommates title and web address… fear no more.

All of the posts can be found at www.ramblingroommates.com

Woot!

Woot Woot!

<<doooooing a happy dance across your screen and moonwalking right back across, while afua stares in utter confusion>>

Ok, now on to the FIVE MOST READ POSTS (in descending order)

unnamed5. The Ultimate Dating Advice in Accra: Seek Ye First…

This hilarious post written by Afua, talks a little bit about how to avoid meeting guys who have already shown their general uselessness in the dating scene. I remember so many side conversations coming out of this post because people were either a) really entertained or b) really worried for Afua’s dating life. In the post, we got to meet some caricatures in the form of Kofi, Kwame and Kwesi who were guys who had been around the scene… and by around… I mean, around. This is why one must seek first abi… tis better to get wise counsel than to embark on an ignorant journey (I think this is in the Bible… or something 0.O). I also remember this post helped to explain some of the differences between ‘Western’ dating and ‘Ghanaian’ dating, which was pretty clutch given the fact that this is a dating blog and yet dating in Ghana means sleeping with… strange. In my response, I was able to talk about one male readers response to Afua’s experience. Eye opening… (y’all should check it out if you haven’t).

 

image (2)4. Go Check Your Wife, Now!

Everyone has received that death threatening text message at the crack of dawn from your ex’s current beau who has somehow realized that their lover… had a past… that actually included… other women… Right?

Oh…?

No?

Maybe not…?

Well… some of us have. More specifically, this post is a scathing  response to receiving that said text message. Nothing gets under my skin like misappropriated emotion and unjust– nay, undue hardship and drama. There was a little controversy over this post because of the reference to the girl as ‘basic’. Whole entire conversations were had across the internet space about whether or not it was fair for us to characterize her as such, and whether we were being classist— people… people…PEOPLE! We are missing the whole ENTIRE point of this: Don’t. Threaten. My. Life.

But then there was the other point.. of why afua’s ex felt it necessary to maintain any type of relationship with her when he had clearly moved on and married. Definitely check out the post and read my response where I question whether or not Afua was in the wrong for responding to and maintaining any sort of communication at all with her ex when they both had clearly moved on.

brunch3. Ten Places for A Date

This post was TOO much fun to write. Especially because it’s always great reliving eating experiences. We have it in our plans to do another one… for food… or maybe get-aways… there is just SO much exploring to do in Accra– and Ghana (although this Cedi depreciation won’t let me be great, smh!). Maybe we will do a list on great places to go with your ever devaluing cedis… nothing like a little recession to re-engineer eating priorities… Kenkey and fish, anyone?

At any rate, there were a good variety of choices from sushi to Spanish to traditional food. A number of people noted the list wasn’t exhaustive… and that’s what happens when you limit yourself to only 10, shesshh. But shiver not… keep your eyes on this space, for more shall flow from henceforth.

278632. Plight of the Returnee Woman

Hmmmmm…

This one was a very heart wrenching piece because, for one, it was released following the death of Komla Dumor… who we had been recently engaging with on the twitters. Someone we believed might provide some really great commentary to add to our blog. Unfortunately, his only feature was in a tribute but we are so happy to be spawns of his legacy. To be part of the crop of content coming out of Africa that shows the dynamic and multifaceted nature of the continent and the many countries, ethnicities and experiences therein. In carrying on the spirit, Afua wrote an excellent piece about her anxieties celebrating her almost-in-my-thirties (but not really *side-eye*) birthday.

Let me just say… homegirl was feeling some type of waaaaay. Some might say bitter… others might say she was keeping it real. For it to have been the second most read post of the year, clearly it resonated with a number of people in various ways. When I read it… it rung of entitlement, which I had to address in my response.

In either case, I know we have all felt that way. Where we go on facebook and people are loving up on someone or you go to an instagram that’s actually a shared account by a couple (yes… I have seen this -_-) and you think… as much of a hater as I am being right now, I so want this… why don’t I have this!? WHY! WHYYYYYYYY!??!?!

Ahem.

Yes.

So yeah… it was a ‘keeping it real moment’ that I think we all have felt at one point or another… still waiting to post my own nauseating pictures though… God? You hear that? Hmmk…

And last, but certainLLLLYY not LEAST…

1. He Was Never Gonna Wife You, Afua: Six Ways to Know Before You Know

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We’re going to take a mental pause for this post.

 

(pause).

 

Ok, and we’re back. Woooo, afua this post though. Talk about baring your soul, girl. And y’all must have felt the exact same way I did, because not only was this post the highest viewed since the beginning of RR, it was the highest single day viewed post in the history of this blog (that includes way back when it was love.african!). Sound the applause!

I think for me, one thing I have learned over the last year… in my journey with myself and my God, is to trust my intuition. Whether you acknowledge what it is or the source of it, one thing is true… you are rarely wrong about those inclinations. If something doesn’t feel right… nine times out of ten, there’s probably something wrong. And even if whatever it is isn’t deal breaker wrong, its definitely worth not ignoring… and of equal importance, if you believe your friends to be observant, useful individuals and they have told you a bajillion times that this guy is useless then you should probably listen the bajillion and oneth time  take heed from trusted friends.

In my own similar situation, I was always of the mind that they didn’t see the person that I saw

Or they didn’t understand the relationship we had...

Or they weren’t there for the day-to-day, in-and-out, minute-by-minute moments and that’s why they were trippin’.

Do you see how I sounded like a woman in a battered relationship though? I mean… if the guy does not have ONE cheerleader in your camp, I mean… well… come on! My favorite lesson for this one is about the fight. If a guy wants you… he’ll fight for you, no two ways about it. And even if for a minute there may be some doubts, inevitably there comes a time where people have to make a balls to the wall decision about going H.A.M for you or going home… and if he’s not going HAM— then you need to go home.

Thanks Afua.

Words to live by, lol!

– – –

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So readers… we want to give you all a big big THANK YOU! for reading, following, subscribing, posting on social media, commenting and just generally being supportive of the journey. While our writing is largely about telling our story, we are so happy that many of you see yourselves in the events that unfold, and we are grateful for your continued support.

Please do follow us on the twitters… and subscribe to the blog (hint: the button’s on the side at the top)…

Tell us which of the posts was your favorite and why? We want to hear from you….! And because we want all readers to get kicks from your comments, please comment ON the blog and not our facebook walls, if possible (don’t be shy now!). LURV Y’all!

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RR on Camera Rambling about Love, Sex and Marriage

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It’s as if we heard you before you even said it: “We want to see new selfies of you guys.” ‘We want to see y’all on camera rambling about love, dating, sex, marriage’… So, that’s exactly what we did… kinda.

Last week, RR were panelists for the AdventuresFrom Google Hangout discussion on the ‘Metamorphosis of Love’. It was fun times, so checker out below. Perhaps in the future we’ll do vblogs of just the two of us 🙂

We’ve done you a solid and shown the moments when we chimed into the discussions, just in case you don’t have time to watch the full hour sesh, you can click on the times below.

. . .

Introductions of RR and other panelists: 0:00 – 2:13

“A woman’s taste buds change every five years” – RR discussing their definition of love and how it has evolved 2:15- 5:45

Compromising for love – RR discussing what kind of compromises they have made in the past and generally what kind of compromises they would make for love 12:00 – 15:42

Sex Sex Sex – RR discussing whether there can be love without sex 25:34 – 28:43

What are you looking for in the future? RR discussing what they would like to say of love when they’re 80 and looking back on their lives 38:42 – 42:41

Shout it out from the Mountain top! – What RR wants to be able to yell from the mountain top about love 54:00 – 55:27