Single

When Being a Woman in Nigeria— Spoke for Everyone

If you missed out on the hastag #BeingFemaleinNigeria trending last week on twitter, do you live under a rock? don’t worry we’ve round up a few of our favorites. It’s nice to know that we’re not out on an island by ourselves sometimes.

Let’s start with Amma’s top picks:

This one is hilarious because it reminds me of the side eye I sometimes get for wanting to go back to school.  “So you want degrees but you don’t want children, eh”—ermmm I’ll take both please and thank you.

This one I like because it is positive and it also represents something I am very passionate about. I think the privilege of getting to raise a boy child means bringing someone sensible that all the girls will swoon over because he will be all of the greatest sophisti-ratchet swagged philosophical things I wanted… you are welcome in advance to his wife.

A bit problematic given my tendencies towards guys younger than me… but ma sakyira. 

This I find HILARIOUS… because I was just talking to a friend about the erectile dysfunction commercials over the airwaves in Ghana and how it is VERY clear that women are not ashamed of their ‘carnal desires’. Here… it is obviously the men who are struggling to keep up. #viagrabeforeviagra #goingtojujumenforstrokegameupgrades #struggleisreal #beingaghanaianman

Here are my picks:

I had a few too many favs, so I have less to say about them and will just let you marinate in their truth instead.

#realtears** because I can actually see Ghanaian aunties and moms saying this in their accents.

I’ve been saying this Over and Over and Over again. This emphasis on equipping women to be ‘good spouses’, and somehow thinking that men have this innate ability to know how to love, serve, protect, stay faithful to, be sensitive to and open up to their spouse is beyond me… but this will have to be saved for another time and blog post.

Again… #realtears**

When the holidays roll by… when the family functions take place… hell, every damn Sunday.

Afua, you look [fill in the blank with any ordinarily-positive-compliment on brains, beauty and confidence… which somehow doesn’t quite come out as a compliment in the context it is given]

It’s that, or all your relatives will think ‘you’re not taking good care of your husband and home…’

I had to add this for a friend… #butthat’snoneofmybusiness … chirp … chirp’

These last two I take to heart… because a guy friend politely informed me of the following when I told him I just want a regular guy to approach me, because I’m a regular ol’ gal: ‘afua, when a man sees you out and might want to approach, first he has to contend with the sea of too known repat friends you’re surrounded by, then he’ll be hit with the SERIOUSS slang, then he’ll find out your schooling and job, then he’ll see you driving some car wahh, the apartment and the places you like to frequent…. #massabegonewiththatdesire’

[sigh]

Word to your mother… and your grandmother.

– – –

** Real tears because I’m laughing so hard that I’m crying

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Qualified, yet Single: Why Good Black Men Are Single.

I’m not sure I agree this is a question that has been widely asked, however someone is exploring the topic… take a peek at the trailer and see what you think… I don’t have too many words for this one, I think the clips speak volumes…

A film that explores the lives of several “well-qualified” single Black men who reveal their reasons for being single. Dr. Dwayne Buckingham’s primary reason for doing this film was to give single men, who are perceived to be well qualified, a platform to speak their truth, but also provide single women with the subtle red flags to look for in a “good” man prior to jumping into a relationship.

“It’s hard to bring something in that may taint what you’ve made good.”

“If I meet the right queen, I will get married… period.”

Alrighty, Dr. Buckingham…thanks for this…I guess