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I’m Too Old for this

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I’ve heard the likes of this tweet verbalized A LOT lately. In relation to games, lies, flip flopping, and the general indecisiveness that can come with dating, the consensus has been:

“I’m [just] too old for this [behavior]”.

The interesting thing I’ve noticed about this statement is that nothing really has changed of the ‘(dating) game’ per se, just their our participation in it. I say ‘our’ because I can proudly add myself to that list of statement makers.
Indeed, I have my own ‘I’m too old for this’ story that I would like to tell on this here fine beautiful Monday in Accra. So let’s begin, shall we…
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03c9b5ead512b42c56c386b566e87039I met a guy a few months ago, who I immediately took a liking to. We started off slow but steady, developing a good
friendship and genuine enjoyment of one another’s company. The mutual attraction was growing and if I’m honest with myself it was the first time in a long time that I could see myself being with someone in a meaningful way long term, or as Amma put it one day, “Wow, you *really* like him, eh?”. *Shrug* I did. And this, you can say is a very hard thing to come by for me, hence her bewilderment. In any case, it would appear that just as things were beginning to grow roots the tree was abruptly and quite frankly, incomprehensibly uprooted. Yes… he ghosted.
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I feel like for the remainder of this story my words won’t give due justice to what happened, so how about I let someone else tell the story for me? Because when a male tweeter so graciously tells the story of mine and millions of other women so eloquently as was done on the twittersphere a couple weeks, you gotta let him do it. He (Mr. Nonprophet_) even graciously added in the opaque portions of the other (man’s) side of the story, which so often gets left out when I we women write retell rant. I must say that I love when men do mansplaining of dating, because it validates that we women aren’t crazy in some of the things we say, and it allows stories to be told without people pointing accusatory fingers at something the woman (supposedly) did wrong, or without them taking on an accusatory tone that the woman is telling the story from a bitter angle. So thank you, @Nonprophet_ . **Read to the end, RR – it’s a good read 🙂
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I realize I am getting too old to be a ghost buster. No more time to be out here trying to chase the wind. And I am glad that @Nonprophet_  has shifted the onus of this struggle.

Let me know your thoughts! Did @Nonprophet_ just tell your recent (or not-so recent) story? Men, is this accurate?
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When Being a Woman in Nigeria— Spoke for Everyone

If you missed out on the hastag #BeingFemaleinNigeria trending last week on twitter, do you live under a rock? don’t worry we’ve round up a few of our favorites. It’s nice to know that we’re not out on an island by ourselves sometimes.

Let’s start with Amma’s top picks:

This one is hilarious because it reminds me of the side eye I sometimes get for wanting to go back to school.  “So you want degrees but you don’t want children, eh”—ermmm I’ll take both please and thank you.

This one I like because it is positive and it also represents something I am very passionate about. I think the privilege of getting to raise a boy child means bringing someone sensible that all the girls will swoon over because he will be all of the greatest sophisti-ratchet swagged philosophical things I wanted… you are welcome in advance to his wife.

A bit problematic given my tendencies towards guys younger than me… but ma sakyira. 

This I find HILARIOUS… because I was just talking to a friend about the erectile dysfunction commercials over the airwaves in Ghana and how it is VERY clear that women are not ashamed of their ‘carnal desires’. Here… it is obviously the men who are struggling to keep up. #viagrabeforeviagra #goingtojujumenforstrokegameupgrades #struggleisreal #beingaghanaianman

Here are my picks:

I had a few too many favs, so I have less to say about them and will just let you marinate in their truth instead.

#realtears** because I can actually see Ghanaian aunties and moms saying this in their accents.

I’ve been saying this Over and Over and Over again. This emphasis on equipping women to be ‘good spouses’, and somehow thinking that men have this innate ability to know how to love, serve, protect, stay faithful to, be sensitive to and open up to their spouse is beyond me… but this will have to be saved for another time and blog post.

Again… #realtears**

When the holidays roll by… when the family functions take place… hell, every damn Sunday.

Afua, you look [fill in the blank with any ordinarily-positive-compliment on brains, beauty and confidence… which somehow doesn’t quite come out as a compliment in the context it is given]

It’s that, or all your relatives will think ‘you’re not taking good care of your husband and home…’

I had to add this for a friend… #butthat’snoneofmybusiness … chirp … chirp’

These last two I take to heart… because a guy friend politely informed me of the following when I told him I just want a regular guy to approach me, because I’m a regular ol’ gal: ‘afua, when a man sees you out and might want to approach, first he has to contend with the sea of too known repat friends you’re surrounded by, then he’ll be hit with the SERIOUSS slang, then he’ll find out your schooling and job, then he’ll see you driving some car wahh, the apartment and the places you like to frequent…. #massabegonewiththatdesire’

[sigh]

Word to your mother… and your grandmother.

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** Real tears because I’m laughing so hard that I’m crying

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